So I’ve had this post written for a year but was afraid to share, since all you’ve seen so far are my outfits and my cat – nothing about emotions or my faith (maybe some emotion over cheese…) Being a military spouse or even moving just once, or having a friend move away is hard – here is what I have to say about it! I’m taking it personal for a post – don’t get scared away by any sappiness!
If living in Enid has taught me nothing else other, than how to wear cowboy boots,it has taught me that God brings you friends for specific times in your life. It may be a quick 3 months or years, but he knows who you need and constantly reminds you of his providence and love. He knows what you need when you need it. He reminds you that when he pulls away what you thought could never ever be replaced that he will provide. He will. Each time I melt down, each time there are tears, each time I think “this should get easier”, but it doesn’t. I begin to think that I will never meet anyone else who can fill that need. Each friend is a unique treasure, a unique vessel of love from God and cannot be replaced. That is ok. It is ok to mourn a friend leaving, it WILL never be the same. But change can be good, change makes you stronger! Someone else will come along and fill another need you didn’t even know you had. Learn something from each person that God puts in your life, there is something there! Don’t wait until their house is in boxes to realize the importance of their friendship in your life.
Of course you can stay friends, but it will never be the same. Skype dates can’t replace margaritas after work, but again, it is merely a change in your friendship. Certain aspects of your friendship will change, and new challenges will arise, but a true friendship will make it through. Yes, they will make new friends, and you will make new friends. You won’t be the one in all of their selfies on Instagram or the one that they go to when crying over a glass of wine, and that hurts, it does. You will both move on with your lives, but you will stop everything you do when they call, and so will they. (Even if you are running on the treadmill) If your friendship is important, you will make it a priority. Buy those plane tickets, make the road trip – don’t just talk about it.
Some practical advice? Have a project with your long distance friend so you have to stay in contact. I have personally found having an online shop with my friend has helped us stay close. Start a blog together, an Instagram for your pets, train for a marathon, or have a book club over skype. There are tons of options! Send your friend pictures of what you’re trying on at Anthropologie, because you know she is the only one who can be honest with you AND convince you to splurge. Also remember that nothing can replace a good old fashioned phone call, or even a letter! Let’s be honest, who doesn’t smile when they get a letter in the mail? Or dare I say, a PACKAGE! “….brown paper packages tied up with string, these are a few of my favorite things!” – Julie Andrews always gets it right.
You will always miss your friend, because they DID bring something unique to your life. Remember those memories with a smile and maybe a little tear, then text or call to let them know you are thinking of them, they are probably thinking of you too.
Cry your heart out, it’s ok –and will help your friend realize how important they are to you, let’s be honest. The hurt won’t last forever, there is always something on the horizon for both of you, something new coming you don’t even know about yet!
Be patient with yourself and be open!
And now back to the clothes! Thanks for being awesome followers and friends!